My biggest fear(s) in life are something happening to me and leaving my kids without a Mother, losing my husband and losing my kids. The idea of those three things terrifies the hell out of me.
We were faced with the very real possibility of losing another child when Owen had his surgery this year. This surgery was a major, 4 hour surgery to reconstruct his skull and reshape his eye bones due to right coronal craniosynostosis.
The moment the OR Nurse came to take him from us, it felt like my heart stopped beating. It didn't start again until the moment his plastic surgeon walked up to us in the operating room with a smile a mile wide on his face.
2011 has been a tremendously tough year for our family but the bright spot in all of that is Owen. He is always such a happy baby, always smiling and always so content.
I often wondered if surgery would change his personality at all, Thank God it didn't. He's still the same loveable and sweet little boy he's always been.
The other day I read the new US Weekly article about Tori Spelling's new baby. She made a comment about her head and saying it was the most beautifully round head she's ever seen. I never would have paid much attention to that before, but now, as a Cranio Mom, that comment stung a little. To me, my son is perfect and he was perfect to me before the surgery, but it breaks my heart when I think of everything he had to endure just to grow like a normal little boy. Life isn't fair and to make a sweet and innocent baby go thru what he did, it's just not fair.
I'm so thankful we're on the other side now and we can put this year behind us and finally enjoy watching our little boy grow. We're coming up on 6 months post-op soon. 6 whole months! He'll be 14 months old pretty soon and he's growing like a weed. It's sad to know he's my last baby but then I am relieved he is my last baby. If that makes sense....
Craniosynostosis has thrown a lot of curves our way and it has done things that forever changed my little boy's life and he doesn't even know it yet.... that's pretty powerful. I pray for the wisdom and the right words to come to me when the day comes that I have to explain to him why he has a scar that runs from ear to ear and when he wants to see the pictures.... but one thing I will always reaffirm to him is that whether he was born with craniosynostosis or not, I love him no matter what and I am forever blessed to be his Mommy.
in every single way
and more each passing day
you are brighter than the stars
believe me when i say
it's not about your scars
it's all about your heart
