It's finally here!

I took that picture this morning. My little man fell asleep in his exersaucer for his morning nap. The cuteness of that moment couldn't be passed up, so the camera came out and I started snapping away.

I look at that picture and I see the preciousness of him sleeping in such a funny position and it melts my heart, but then I also look so closely at his head and I see that zig zag scar across his head and it shatters my heart.

Owen turned one year old on September 21st. A whole year old! Every first birthday is special and a momentous occasion but to me, it means so much more. Two years ago the world around me fell apart when our daughter was stillborn. I spent so much time grieving for her and hating the world, cursing the world and wondering what I did to deserve this pain. I remember so often thinking that we'd never celebrate a first birthday again.

Then came Owen.

The day I found out I was pregnant with him was a total shock. My cycle had been whacky for a few months and I had been to my Doctor the month before and told I wasn't pregnant and if my period didn't arrive in another month we'd look into other testing to see what was going on. The next month I went back and BAM - A positive pregnancy test. I saw the little bean on the monitor and the heart just beating away. I remember calling my Dad on the way home from the office and I was sobbing. Tears of joy, tears of overwhelming fear, you name it - I was crying for that reason and more.

I read on a baby name site that the meaning of the name Owen is "young warrior." I actually picked that name to be Audrey's name if she was a boy. I told myself if I ever got pregnant again and we had a son that was his name and I never changed my mind. I had no idea when I chose that name and finally had my son what that name would mean to us and most importantly, what it would mean to him.

He truly is a young warrior. He is strength personified and he's only 1 year old. I look at his scar every day and it is a daily reminder of everything he's had to endure in his short life so far. That scar breaks my heart every single time but it also makes me so proud to be a Cranio Mom. I remember so many times before his surgery holding him and rocking him to sleep and I would kiss his head and touch it. I looked at him and I just couldn't wrap my mind around the idea of there being something wrong. I knew in my heart something wasn't right but I kept telling myself this was all a dream. Craniosynostosis or not, he's my son and he's perfect. I would rub and touch his beautiful head and it broke my heart to know what he'd have to go through just to develop normally and live the life of a normal little boy.

We are celebrating his first birthday party at 2pm today. This isn't just the celebration of him turning 1 year old - this is a celebration of him surviving his surgery and finally reaching a milestone that I wasn't sure I'd ever see again.

Thank you to everyone who has been down this path with us and supported us and our young warrior. We couldn't have done it without you.